Tune

melody stuck in your head
you whistle the tune
a deafening blast
you spin see red liquid
dripping slowly down a brick wall
image burned into your mind
adds another note to the tune you whistle

Waiting

dark gloomy night
wind whistling through the trees
sitting alone i watch
watch as the rain falls
watch as a car passes
headlights hurting my eyes
giving me a headache
Its so quiet,
so...
quiet...
i almost,
almost,
fall asleep
but the howling snaps me
   back to reality
i look out the window again
watching,
waiting,
waiting
something thumps into the window
i start to get frightend
something touches my shoulder
i jump
but its only him standing behind me
wings the color of snow outstreched
blue-green eyes glowing
hair blowing gently in an imaginary wind
i sleep then
safe with my guardian angel close by
watching,
waiting for the morning light
and for safety

Diary

blue ink stains perfect lined paper
    white washed backdrop
lines are written spilling all secrets
    nothing hidden anymore
skin illuminated with floresent light
    reflecting her soul
she hides the paper well
    its not enough
the paper is found and read
    secrecy is lost

I Wonder

I wonder what its like,
just sitting here with nothing to do.
I wonder what i could do,
to pass the day.
i wonder what it would be like,
if i was the only person in the world.
i wonder what its like,
to be a different type of creature.
i smile at the thought of what its like,
to be as big as the world.
I wonder what its like,
to not have to worry about a single thing.
I wonder what its like,
not to dream.
I wonder what its like,
not to have to do work.
I wonder what its like,
when i accomplish something that no one else has.
I wonder what its like,
to have no green around me.
I wonder what its like,
to see a green sky.
I wonder what its like,
to not know how to think.
I wonder.
wonder...
wonder...
and wonder...
Dream Big As The Sky

I'm Trying

I’m trying not to love you

I’m trying not to care

I’m trying not to live my life wishing you were there

I’m trying to wonder

Where you are

Or what you do

I’m sorry I cant help myself

 I fell in love with you

Alone

I feel that pain in my heart

Then I leave my painful mark

I sit and cry alone in the world

You left me there without a second thought

I hate that hurt in my heart

I hate how I thought I loved you

I hate how you left me alone

Lost

Take my hand and lead the way

Tell me it’ll be okay

Take my life and keep it safe

I have your trust no haste

I think your kind but kindness isn’t real

You’re sweet appearance is my hell

I keep my heart locked away

You keep putting me astray

I’m lost and confused

you’re nothing but you

Darkness

Setting sun on my darkest day

Glistening moon shining stars will guide me

Blood will fall into a trail you will follow close behind

Alone I will sit for eternity

Darkness is the only thing with me darkness is only mine

Slipping Away

He said he loved me

he said he’d always care

he told me a thousand lies

he broke my heart to pieces when I finally let down my guard

you came around and picked up the pieces

you told me not to cry

you healed all my wounds

you erased al my scars

you told me not to worry as

you held me in your arms

and I’m letting myself rest

I’m slowly easing but I’m scared

the cold is slowly growing

I’m eating less and less 

but I don’t feel the hunger

its like I’m going numb from the cold,

the warmth I felt when I first met you is slipping away

…no your slipping away

its happening again

its starting just the same

my mind cant comprehend

you say you love me

but I can tell your starting to not believe it

I’m slowly starting to hate you

because you cant tell me the truth

I’m getting colder and colder

as the lights start to go out

I’m crying because I love you

I feel my knees hit the ground

I feel the tears run down my cheeks

I slowly lose my sense of direction

I cant tell up from down

I’m slowly going cold all over

I’m slowly falling to the ground

I can only hope that you mean what you say

I can only hope that you catch me before

I slip away  

Round and Round

round and round

dance around

jump up and down

kick the ground

curse the voices ringing in my mind

telling me I'm worthless

telling me ill never make it

ill never be good enough,

is that true

tell me the truth

do you think I’m good enough

do you think ill make it past fifteen?

I'm not worried about getting shot or kidnapped

I’m not worried about all the dangers walking the streets

what I’m worried about is constantly being yelled at

constantly being told I’m worthless

I don’t care what your mad about

that’s wrong

I cant handle this doubt for myself

I cant take all this doubt

he tells me I’m worthless,

And the worst part is

I’m starting to believe him

I’m starting to get convinced that I’m worthless trash

but what do you think?

For what you have done

I love the like the endless song of the sea,
but for what you have done to me cannot be forgotten.
Like maggots crawling on the dead leaving them rotten.
For what you have done to me can never be forgotten.
You left me alone to take a stand but you would never offer me your hand.
You left me cold as old castle walls covered with mold.
For what you have done to me could never be forgotten.
Still as a statue you left me for dead, no compassion in your words
and hnothing to cover my head.
For now I am hollow and alone because you have left me and the fault is my own.
For what you have done to me could never be forgotten.

seek the hidden secrets

The unforgiving look

The death stare
the treacherous smirk

Your eyes the color of ebony

Peer into my soul and find

Find what I hide from everyone

Find what I keep locked away

What leads to my dismay

Find what makes me cry

What makes me laugh

But wait

What started as a game of

Seek the hidden secrets

Turned into a nightmare

You see all my frights

All my hate

All the things I keep locked away

And you drop your gaze first

You turn and leave

Ebony eyes down cast

You saw my soul and

Just like every one else

You couldn’t handle what you found

This game of

Seek the hidden secrets turned deadly 

The Fire Flower

I'm losing my mind
I'm losing my hope
I'm falling from the dark
And i'm slipping from the stars
I wander hopelessly trying to find where I belong
Ican’t just forget

I can’t just turn away and pretend I don’t know

I can’t just say I’m sorry

I’m not

I see the flower of fire

, Or, the fire flower

I reach out and get burned

Only on the inside though

Fire spreads through my body

Not visible on the surface

My blood boils

My bones start to melt

I fall limp to the ground

And look up at the unforgiving stars

The stars in which I fell from

To caress the flower of fire

This is not a dream

I see ashes everywhere,
sometimes it gives me a scare,
I wake at night.
From nightmares giving me a fright.
I lay there painting.
Demons are dancing,
forming a star.
Soon I see a scar.
Forming down my leg
I feel a pain in my neck.
I scream
The demons form a team.
Circling faster now
Images are somehow
Turning bloody
The scene is becoming muddy.
Though, why, I have no clue.
The ceiling is turning from white, to blue
The walls become trees
Everything is now a forest greenery
This cant be
This body isnt me.
Something pops out of the green.
This isnt a dream.
Its reality
He stands there
The person that gives me a scare.......